If our love produced good results there would be no need to change
I ask those of you listening to me today recognize the good sense in what I am saying and, above all, that you recognize that I have not the slightest desire to upset anybody’s family but only to help men and women to broaden the scope of their awareness. If the ordinary, traditional conception of love produced good results there would be no need to change. But you can see for yourselves the kind of thing that goes on: domestic tragedies, suicides, murders and divorce.

And even when a couple is together physically, they are often apart, the man thinking of the mistress he has—or dreams of having—and the woman of her lover. Even when they are outwardly faithful, in their hearts they are often cheating on each other.

Improving the way we love
So this is why, even if you do not feel ready to live the higher degrees of love, you must still try to improve the way you love. Let me illustrate this: I have here two bottles of water. Now, let’s say that one of them represents the wife and the other the husband. As both of them continually drink from the other, both bottles will soon be empty and it only remains to throw them away and get others.

That is what happens if one has the ordinary conception of love: one drinks from a bottle whose capacity is, of course, limited and when it is empty one throws it away. Both bottles—both partners in a marriage—must be connected to the inexhaustible Fountainhead of love and in that way they will always be full, no one can ever drain their bottle dry because it will be permanently supplied with fresh water from the Source.

Love your partner’s soul and spirit
This means that if, instead of considering only the superficial aspects of the man or woman you love, you love their soul and spirit, then you will be linked to a live being, one that is already connected to the Source, to the Lord. In this way your love will last for ever: even when you are old and wrinkled you will still love each other because it is not the flesh you love but a living being, a reflection of the Godhead.

Through his wife a man seeks the visage of the divine Mother; he raises himself towards her so as to receive energy, light and love from her. And a woman seeks to reach the heavenly Father through her husband; in this way their love will never come to an end. But if men and women are content to come together only on the lower levels they need not be surprised if they are soon disappointed. That is only to be expected: how can love be lasting if there is nothing good or beautiful to love beyond the physical body?

The physical division of human beings, the upper and lower parts of their bodies, correspond to their higher and lower natures, the individuality and the personality. The personality is only interested in grabbing things for itself, in satisfying its appetites, so when love is manifested by the personality it is necessarily marred by these dense, obscure elements. Whereas love manifested by the individuality is marked by generosity and disinterestedness; it is pure and luminous.

Experience awe and delight when contemplating one another
From now on, therefore, make an effort to understand this sublime philosophy, for it is the only one which teaches men and women how to use the stimulus they give each other and the awe and delight they experience in the contemplation of each other; how to be continually inspired by these elements and use them to become geniuses and divinities.

But all this will only begin to be clear to your minds when you yourselves have made it clear through meditation and many inner adjustments. When you reach that point you will be in possession of all the treasures nature has prepared for you and capable of using them with the mathematical precision you would use in a laboratory. Then you will be capable of handling all these elements and forces and using them for your own regeneration and illumination and that of the whole world.

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

Izvor book 221, True Alchemy or the Quest for Perfection
Chapter 13, The sublimation of sexual energy